in retro

It indeed has been a very long time since I blogged the last.
A few things have happened since then.

I put in my papers @ work a few weeks ago. With no other job in my hand, my alliance with my employers will sieze to exist from July.
If I look back at my decision(I do not enjoy doing this but..), the only reason I find that compelled me to do so was boredom, a sense of dissatisfaction resulting out of uninteresting work. I think I love programming but unfortunately it had become a seasonal affair, pretty much like mangoes in the summer. Most of the time my work involved cleaning someone elses shit(read bugs). I understand that most IT work in India involves maintenance projects and pretty much every IT guy/girl spends his/her time doing what I do. But I realized that this is exactly what I do not want to do all my life.
In short, I was not at all enjoying my work.
As a direct result of which I was not giving my 100% to the job and not giving it enough justice as I used to when I had started out.Things had become so predictable and mundane that going all the way to work seemed as a punishment. A punishment let out by social pressure.A pressure to stick with a secure job. A pressure to earn money.Parental pressure.Peer pressure.

Life is surely going to change after this. I forsee the so-called good times giving way to difficult times.You know it from the reactions from the people around you. The kind of reactions I get back when I happen to tell my quit-story vary from bafflement to empathy. Some say it is a silly decision and some happen to plaud it by terming it as a bold one.I feel it is a mixture of both.Its a silly-bold decision :). Anyways coming back to all seriousness, I know I need to ignore the negative vibes and carry forward the positive ones. I also am completely aware that it is a risky affair to quit without any other job in hand or say when having a future as uncertain as a Bollywood movie but I say what the heck !?! If I am not taking risks or for that matter following my heart @ this age then when??? I am happy I did it and must say that I am one lucky ass as currently I do have the freedom to do my own thing thanks to the fact that I do not have to support my family as such.Touch wood.I know many people who do not love their jobs and want to quit but just cannot with all the attachments.

What next?? This is a big question and answers still evade me.Although currently Army aspirations are running high in me and I have an aim for the next few months i.e to clear the CDS and then the SSB, the future still seems very hazey. As the selection process takes a while to complete, I need to find out what I want to do in the meantime and or rather full time if I do not clear it(unfortunately I just have one chance to get through to Army).Do I want to go back to IT or rather the corporate world? Rationality tells me that I am equipped to do programming and that is what I am best at currently and hence should go back. But somewhere down the line I do not feel like doing so and living the cubicle life all over again.
There are two things I find my interests pinning down to. To work for a startup firm which has an informal work culture and a real zest for cutting edge technology work. A workplace I could feel attached to.Never felt that attachment with TCS. Second thing would be to work as a travel writer or rather just as a traveller. Writing travelogues for magazines coupled with nature photography and the freedom to explore the whole of India would be ultimate fun.I know I am not a great writer or something but I also know that I am not bad one either. Also I have an eye for photography and hence think that something of this sort would give me more satisfaction.
But yes, I would contemplate on all these only if I do not get to the Army.Army is the place I want to be. A mere thought of going for the SSB gives me that adrenalin rush. Man!!!! I just want to be there.
Lets see whats in store ahead.....

Would like to end this post with a very profound quote I recently read.
"A short cut to riches is to subtract from our desires". How true!!